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Dosti - Friendship between Male and Female


L=h vkSj iq#”k esa nksLrh 
-By Anjini Kumar Kasturia
nksLrh vFkok fe=rk ;g ,d ,slk ‘kCn gS tks ifo=rk dk izrhd gSA bl fj’rs dh xgjkbZ
vlhfer gSA lalkj esa eq[; nks rjg ds fj’rs gksrs gSa] ,d nksLrh dk vkSj nwljk ‘k=qrk dkA lk/kkj.k lh ckr gS fd tks fe= ugha gS og ‘k=q gS vkSj tks ‘k=q ugha gS og fe= gSA ftl izdkj nksLrh ds fj’rs dh xgjkbZ vlhfer gS] mlh izdkj ‘k=qrk ds fj’rs dh xgjkbZ vlhfer gSA mnZw esa nksLr dgk tkrk gS vkSj fgUnh o laLd`r esa fe=A blh izdkj mnZw esa nq’eu dgk tkrk gS vkSj fgUnh o laLd`r esa ‘k=qA

fe=rk ds Hkko dk o.kZu osn ‘kL=ksa vkSj iqjk.kksa ls pyk vk jgk gSA fe=rk ,d lk/kkj.k Hkko ls izdV gksrh gSA tc ,d O;fDr dks ;g cks/k gksrk gS fd nwljk O;fDr mls uqdlku ugha ig¡pk,xk rks og mls fe= le>us yxrk gS vkSj ;g Hkko mls ml O;fDr ds fudV ys tkus esa lgk;rk djrk gSA vc ;g nksuks O;fDr;ksa ij o mUgsa izd`fr ds }kjk iznku fd;s x;s voljksa ij fuHkZj djrk gS fd os bl Hkko dh xgjkbZ esa fdruk tk ldrs gSaA ftruk bl fe=rk ds Hkko esa tkvksxs] mruk gh vkuan vk,xk vkSj fe=rk mruh gh xgjh gksrh tk,xhA rFkk thou esa ,d iy ,Slk vkrk gS fd ml xgjkbZ ls ckgj fudyuk vlaHko gks tkrk gSA bl voLFkk esa fe=rk vVwV gks tkrh gS vkSj nksuks fe=ksa dh vkRek ,d nwljs esa lek tkrh gSA nksuks gh ,d:i gks tkrs gSaA bl izdkj dh fe=rk ds mn~gkj.k gekjs vrhr esa cgqr ns[kus dks feyrs gSaA vtqZu vksj d`”.k dh fe=rk] d`”.k vkSj jk/kk dh fe=rkA d`”.k vkSj lqnkek dh fe=rkA lp esa dgk tk, rks fe= Hkko dh xgjkbZ vkSj egkurk dk izpkj vkSj izlkj d`”.k ds dky ls ‘kq# gqvkA blls igys Hkh fe= cuk, tkrs Fks vkSj mudk eku lEeku Hkh fd;k tkrk FkkA ijarq fe= Xokyiu ;kfu NksVh mez rd gh jkst jkst dh fe=rk rd lhfer FkkA blds ckn tc ckyd c<s gks tkrs Fks rks vius vius dke vkSj O;olk; esa yx tkrs FksA rc fe=rk vkSj Hkh lhfer gks tkrh FkhA dHkh dHkh fe= vius fe= ls vkdj feyrs Fks rks mudk c<k Lokxr gksrk FkkA mudh vkoHkxr ds ckn os vius vius ?kj dks pys tkrs FksA ij ,slk ugha Fkk fd gj le; o jkst vius fe= ds ikl vkdj cSBsaA 

d`”.k dky ls igys fj’rsnkjh ds fj’rksa dks iz/kkurk nh tkrh FkhA ekuo Hkko ;kfu fd ekuork ds Hkko dks vkSj O;kid cukus ds fy, d`”.k us fj’rsnkjh ls gV dj bl ekuork vkSj isze ds Hkko dks yksxksa esa QSykus ds fy, l[kk Hkko dks iz/kkurk nh vkSj bl Hkko dh xgjkbZ dks le>kus ds fy, Loa;e~ bu fe=rk ds fj’rksa dks fuHkk dj fn[kk;kA muds bl ekuorkoknh egku dk;Z dks ge d`”.k yhyk ds :i esa ns[krs gSaA

d`”.k us ;gka rd bl fj’rs dks mtkxj fd;k fd ,d iq#”k nwljs iq#”k dk fe= gh ugha gks ldrk ijarq ,d L=h Hkh iq#”k dh fe= gks ldrh gSA lR; esa rks d`”.k dks L=h;ksa ls cgqr yxko FkkA bldk dkj.k ;g Fkk fd d`”.k us ns[kk fd L=h;ksa dks viuk thou vius ifr ds lkFk thou Hkj fuHkkuk iMrk gSA L=h;ksa dks vPNk ifr o vPNs lkl] llqj] nsoj] tsB Hkh feyrs gSa vkSj cqjs HkhA vxj cqjs fey tk,¡ rks mldk thou ujd cu tkrk gSA vkSj os fry fry dj ejrh gSaA ml le; ds lekt dk fu;e Fkk fd L=h flQZ vius ifr vFkok lkl] llqj dks gh viuk nq[k crk ldrh gS vU;Fkk nwljs fdlh dks ughaA ijarq vxj mldk ifr o lkl] llqj gh xyr fudysa rks og viuk nq[kMk fdls lquk,\ blfy, ,d lkekftd lq/kkj dks djrs gq, mUgksaus L=h ds fy, ,d fe= dk fj’rk [kkst fudkykA d`”.k  dks irk Fkk fd ;g u;s izdkj dk fj’rk /khjs /khjs lekt esa ekU;rk ik ysxkA

ijarq d`”.k ds dky ls ysdj lu~ 1975 rd bl L=h o iq#”k ds Hkhrj fcuk fookg fd;s fe=rk ds fj’rs dks iw.kZ :i ls Hkkjr esa lkekftd ekU;rk ugha feyhA bl L=h o iq#”k ds Hkhrj fcuk fookg ds fe=rk ds fj’rs dks if’pe ns’kksa esa rks bZlk elhg ds tUe ds ckn le>k tkus yxk vkSj ogka ij bls ekU;rk fey xbZ vkSj ;g fj’rk tksj ‘kksj ls c<h xrh ls ogka QSy x;kA fQj tc baVjusV ;gka Hkkjr esa vk x;k vkSj LVkj Iyl tSls pSuy vk x, rks ;gka ls bl fj’rs dk izpkj c<h xrh ls QSyk vkSj vkt ;g fLFkfr gS fd gj yMdh 14 ls 15 o”kZ dh vk;w esa gh dbZ iq#”k fe=ksa ls fe=rk dj ysrh gSA vkt ds xfr ls c<rs lkekftd cnyko dks ns[kdj ek¡ cki Hkh vius cPpksa dh bl izdkj ds fe=rk ds fj’rs ij pqIih yxk ysrs gSaA if’peh ns’kksa esa ;g fe=rk dk fj’rk blk elhg ds le; ls QSyk ij bl L=h iq#”k ds Hkhrj fe=rk ds fj’rs dk tUe rks gekjs ns’k esa gtkjksa o”kZ iwoZ d`”.k dky esa gh gks x;k FkkA
pfy, bl L=h o iq#”k vFkok yMdk o yMdh ds chp bl fe=rk ds fj’rs ds Qk,ns ubZ fopkj/kkjk ds ek/;e ls ns[ksa!

igys rks vkb, ifr iRuh ds fj’rs ij ,d n`f”V Mkyrs gSaA vkt ds le; esa lcls dMqok fj’rk tks izpfyr gS oks gS ifr o iRuh dk fj’rkA gj ifr dh fookg ls iwoZ o ckn esa Hkh ,slh Hkkouk jgrh gS fd mls ,slh iRuh feys ftldk fookg ls iwoZ fdlh vU; iq#”k ls fe=rk vFkok ‘kkjhfjd laca/k u gksA ,slh Hkkouk LokHkkfod gSA ftl izdkj dke dk L=h o iq#”k ds Hkhrj gksuk LokHkkfod gS] mlh izdkj ;g Hkkouk fd mldh iRuh dk fdlh vU; iq#”k ls fookg ds iwoZ o ckn  esa fe=rk o ‘kkjhfjd laca/k u gks] ;g Hkh LokHkkfod gSA blh izdkj lHkh L=h;k¡ Hkh ;gh pkgrh gSa fd mldk ifr Hkh fdlh izdkj ls fookg iwoZ o ckn esa fdlh vU; L=h ls laca/k u j[ksA tc nksuks dks ;g irk pyrk gS vFkok la’k; ;k ‘kd gksrk gS fd ifr vFkok iRuh ds ,sls laca/k jgs gSa rks eu esa dMqokgV vkus yxrh gSA fj’rk fcxMus yxrk gSA
ijarq vkt okLrfodrk D;k gS\ okLrfodrk dqN vkSj gh gSA baVjusV] Vh-oh- pSuy o xjhch dk izHkko ,slk gS fd yMdk o yMdh toku gksus ls igys gh vkt ds le; esa ,d nwljs ls fe=rk vFkok ‘kkjhfjd laca/k LFkkfir dj ysrs gSaA de ls de vkt Hkkjr esa 60 ls 70 izfr’kr vkcknh ds yksxksa ds cPps 14 ls 15 o”kZ dh vk;q rd igwaprs gh ,slk dj cSBrs gSaA vkt vius cPpksa dks ikSjkf.kd laLdkj nsus okys ?kj ifjokj cgqr de jg x, gSaA ftuds ?kjksa esa ,sls laLdkj fo|eku gSa] muds cPps vkt lq[k ls thou fcrk jgs gSa] ij os rc lq[k ls thou fcrk ikrs gSa tc yMdk o yMdh nksuks dks gh ,sls laLdkj feys gksaA 

,d vkSj rjg ds ifr iRuh Hkh viuk oSokfgd thou lq[k ls fcrk jgs gSa] vkSj os gSa fcYdqy vk/kwfud fopkj/kkjk esa fo’okl j[kus okys ifr iRuhA ,sls ifr iRuh dks bl ij fcYdqy ,rjkt ugha gksrk fd mldk ifr vFkok iRuh vU; L=h o iq#”k ls  fe=rk vFkok ‘kkjhfjd laca/k j[ksA bl izdkj ds ifr iRuh esa bl ckr dks lgu djus dh ‘kfDr Hkh gksrh gSA bl lgu’kfDr dh otg ls gh budk thou lq[ke; chrrk gSA

rhljs izdkj ds os ifr iRuh gksrs gSa ftudk thou ‘kkafriw.kZ rjhds ls fudy tkrk gS ij iw.kZ lq[kh ugha gksrsA bl izdkj ds ifr iRuh esa ls ,d ;g lkspdj pqi jg tkrk gS fd mls vius cPpksa vkSj ifjokj ds fy, ,drk cukbZ j[kuh gS A buesa ls ,d O;fDr vktkn [;kyksa dk gksrk gS vkSj vius ifr ;k iRuh ds vykok vU; nwljs ls fe=rk o ‘kkjhfjd laca/k j[krk gS vksj nwljk O;fDr ;g lkspdj pqi jg tkrk gS fd mls rks vius ifjokj dks pykuk gS blfy, nwljs dh vktkn lkspokyh fdz;k dks ekQ dj ns vkSj lgu djrk jgsA bl izdkj dk ifjokj Hkh lq[kiw.kZ chr tkrk gSA [kkl rkSj ij L=h;k¡ bl ckr dks lgu dj tkrh gSa fd mldk ifr ckgj fdlh Hkh vU; L=h ls dqN Hkh dj ds vk tk, ij vkrk rks ?kj esa gSA

ij blds vykok vU; fLFkfr esa ifjokj VwVus yxrk gS vxj fdlh ,d dks Hkh bl ckr ij ,srjkt gks fd nwljk O;fDr fdlh vU; ls ‘kkjhfjd vFkok fe=rk dk laca/k u j[ksA tc ;g irk pyrk gS fd nwljs us fdlh vU; ls ,slk laca/k j[k j[kk gS rks ?kj esa fookn [kMk gks tkrk gS vkSj ;g fookn ?kj dks rksM dj j[k nsrk gSA blesa buds cPps bldk f’kdkj gks tkrs gSaA bl b’;kZ ls ifr vFkok iRuh ;gka rd dj cSBrs gSa fd vius cPpksa dks vius firk ;k ek¡ ds izfr >wBk izpkj dj ds HkMdk nsrs gSa fd mudk firk ;k ekrk muls I;kj ugha djrkA ,slk vius ifr ;k iRuh ls cnyk ysus ds fy, djrs gSa vkSj cPpksa dk thou ujd esa >ksad nsrs gSaA

blds vykok Hkh blls [krjukd fdLe ds ifr o iRuh Hkh gksrs gSa ij mudk bl ys[k esa fooj.k djuk mfpr ugha D;ksafd ;g ys[k fe=rk ls lacaf/kr gSA

vc pyrs gSa fe=rk ds laca/k esa foLrkj lsA fe=rk dk Hkko ,d ifo= Hkko gSA bl Hkko dks fuHkk;k tk, rks blls c<k fj’rk lalkj esa dksbZ vkSj gks gh ugha ldrkA bl fj’rs dks fuHkkus ds fy, vkSj iw.kZ :i ls bls lalkj esa ekU;rk fnykus ds fy, vHkh cgqr la?k”kZ djuk ckdh gSA vxj ;g fe=rk ds fj’rs dks iw.kZ :i ls lHkh le> ysaxs rks bl lalkj esa lHkh yMkbZ;k¡ [kRe gks tk,axh vkSj ;g /kjrh iw.kZ :i ls LoxZ] oSdqaB/kke vkSj tUur cu tk,xhA

bl fj’rs dks izcy cukus ds fy, lcls cMh ck/kk gS L=h vkSj iq#”k ds chp bl fj’rs dks iw.kZ :i ls ekU;rk feyuk ;kfu fd vius ifr o iRuh ds vykok fdlh vU; ls Hkh bl fj’rs dks j[kus dh lkekftd ekU;rk feyukA 

fe= mls dg ldrs gSa tks vkidk ‘k=q ugha gSA vkSj tc fe= vPNk yxus yxs vkSj mlds ikl T;knk ls T;knk le; cSBus dk eu djus yxs rks ;g fe=rk xgjh gksus yxrh gS vkSj nksuks fe=ksa esa isze gksus yxrk gSA ;fn nksuks fe= iq#”k gSa ;k nksuks fe= L=h gSa rks muesa isze dk vFkZ nksuks esa ‘kkjhfjd laca/k ls ugha yxkuk pkfg,A muesa isze dk vFkZ gS fd nksuks ,d nwljs dh gj ckr dks ilan djrs gSa] fQj pkgs oks xyr gh D;ksa u gksA lPph fe=rk isze dh vksj ys tkrh gSA
euq”; ds LoHkko esa nks phtsa LokHkkfod gksrh gSaA ,d& isze] vkSj nwljh & }s”k] /k`.kkA bu nksuks ds cxSj euq”; e`r O;fDr ds leku gSA tks O;fDr mls gkfu ugha igq¡pkrk ;kfu fd fe= gS mlls le; chrus ds ckn euq”; isze djus yxrk gS A rFkk tks O;fDr mls gkfu igq¡pkrk gS ;kfu fd mldk ‘k=q gS] mlls euq”; ?k`.kk djus yxrk gSA

fe=rk euq”; dks xgjs isze dh vksj ys tkrh gSA fe=rk ds }kjk gqvk isze ,d fu”dke] fu%LokFkZ Hkko gksrk gSA lPpk isze gksrk gSA jle; gksrk gSA vkuafnr djrk gSA

,d vkSj izdkj dk isze Hkh gksrk gS tks vlqj izo`fRr okys O;fDr;ksa esa gksrk gSA LokFkZ ls Hkjk iszeA LokFkhZ izo`fRr okys O;fDr flQZ vius ls isze djrs gSaA tSls fd dksbZ _f”k] eqfu ;k lk/kkj.k O;fDr taxy esa tkdj vius eks{k ds fy, riL;k djrk gS] ,slk O;fDr cgqr gh LokFkhZ gksrk gSA og pkgrk gS fd mldh riL;k lQy gksus ds ckn mls oSdqaB/kke ;k LoxZ feys vkSj og ogka vU; vU; izdkj ds Hkksx vkSj foykl dk vkuan mBk ldsA ,slk O;fDr vius fy, riL;k dj jgk gSA og Hkksx vkSj foykl ls isze djrk gSA lPpk isze djus okyk O;fDr flQZ vius fe= vFkok nwljs ds lq[k ds fy, gh lksprk gSA viuk lq[k Hkwy tkrk gSA ,slk O;fDr lPpk isze djrk gSA og Lo;a Hkh lq[kh jgrk gS vkSj mlds fe= Hkh lq[kh jgrs gSaA

vc vkrs gSa L=h vkSj iq#”k ds Hkhrj isze ds laca/k esaA vkRek L=h esa Hkh gksrh gS vkSj iq#”k esa HkhA blfy, isze dk Hkko nksuks esa LokHkkfod :i esa gksrk gSA ;fn L=h vkSj iq#”k ,d nwljs ds fe= cu tkrs gSa rks buesa Hkh lPps isze dk Hkko izdV gksus yxrk gSA eSa igys dg pqdk gw¡ fd fe=rk fe=ksa esa isze dh vksj ys tkrh gSA blfy, /khjs /khjs buesa isze dk Hkko c<us yxrk  gSA nksuks gh ,d nwljs ds fudV vkSj T;knk le; rd cSBuk pkgrs gSa vkSj ,d nwljs dh ckrksa esa jl ysus yxrs gSaA D;ksafd L=h vkSj iq#”k nksuksa esa LokHkkfod dke okluk gksrh gS rkS bls vf/kd fnuksa rd ugha jksd ikrs gSa vkSj ,d fnu nksuks gh ,d nwljs ls ‘kkjhfjd laca/k LFkkfir dj ysrs gSaA ;g LokHkkfod gSA vxj dksbZ yMdh dgs fd og rks flQZ iq#”k fe= ls fe=rk dk gh Hkko j[ksxh rks ,slk laHko ugha gSA pyks eukscy ds }kjk og vius vki dks iq#”k fe= ls ‘kkjhfjd laca/k LFkkfir u djs ij le; ds pyrs pyrs vxj fdlh nwljs ls fookg Hkh gks x;k rks fookg ds ckn Hkh vius iq#”k fe= dh ckrsa vPNh yxrh jgsaxh vkSj ,d fnu ;g vk,xk fd mlds vanj LokHkkfod dke okluk vius iq#”k fe= ds fy, Hkh tkx mBsxh vkSj vius iq#”k fe= ls feyus ds ckn og mls jksd ugha ik,xhA blfy, vius ifr ds vykok mldk ml iq#”k fe= ls Hkh ‘kkjhfjd laca/k LFkkfir gks tk,xkA

blfy, bl izdkj ds yMdh vkSj yMds ds chp vius ifr ds vykok nwljs yMds ls fe=rk ds Hkko dks jksdk tkrk jgk gSA

ij vc djsa rks D;k djsa\ fe=rk dk Hkko o laca/k lcls cMk gksrk gS ;g vuqHko fd;k x;k gSA blfy, L=h vkSj iq#”k ds chp Hkh fe=rk dk fj’rk lcls cMk gksrk gS] ifr vkSj iRuh ds laca/k ls Hkh vf/kdA D;ksafd fe=rk dk fj’rk lcls cMk gksrk gS] blfy, ,d L=h vkSj iq#”k ds chp ,sls fj’rs dks lekt vkSj lalkj esa iw.kZ ekU;rk fnyokuk gS vkSj c<kuk gSA ijarq bl Hkko dks c<kus esa dbZ lkekftd ck/kk,a vk,axhA oSls rks yMdh vkSj yMds ds chp] L=h vkSj iq#”k ds chp ,slk fj’rk vktdy cgqr py jgk gS ijarq Nqi Nqi dj ;kfu fd fookg ds ckn bl izdkj ds ifr ds vykok vU; iq#”k ls fj’rs dks vks>y dj fn;k tkrk gS vkSj dgk tkrk gS fd ,slk fj’rk Fkk gh ughaA D;kasfd fookg ds ckn ,sls fj’rs dk fooj.k djus ls oSokfgd thou esa ck/kk,a vk,axhA

D;ksafd fe=rk dk fj’rk cMk gksrk gS] blfy, bl fj’rs dks iw.kZ :i ls lkekftd ekU;rk fnykus ds fy, iqjkus rjg ds fj’rksa dks lekt ls [kRe djuk gksxkA vU;Fkk ,slk vkt izpfyr fe=rk dk fj’rk >wB ds cy ij o Nqi Nqi dj pyrk jgsxkA

fons’kksa esa rks iqjkus rjg ds fj’rs [kRe gksrs tk jgs gSaA ifr iRuh ds fj’rs Hkh [kRe gksrs tk jgs gSaA u;s fj’rksa us tUe ys fy;k gSA 1- dkWUVªDV eSfjt ;kfu vuqca/k fookg] blesa dqN eghus vFkok dqN o”kksZa ds fy, fookg fd;k tkrk gSA fQj NksM fn;k tkrk gS isze lsA 2- dqN yksx rks fookg djrs gh ughaA 3- ,d vkSj rjg dk fookg dk vuqca/k gksrk gS ftlesa ifr iRuh ‘kkjhfjd laca/k cukus ds fy, vktkn gksrs gSaA

;s yksx L=h vkSj iq#”k ds chp fe=rk ds fj’rs esa fo’okl j[krs gSa vkSj fookg esa ughaA lHkh vktkn gSaA fcuk yMkbZ fd;s gh os vyx gks tkrs gSa vkSj vius cPPkksa dks vyx gksus ds ckn vius firk vkSj ekrk ls I;kj ls feyus nsrs gSaA cPps Hkh [kq’k vkSj os Hkh [kq’kA ;g tks gekjs ns’k ds v[kckjksa esa Nirk gS fd ,sls fj’rs if’peh laLd`fr esa ekuoh; laLdkjksa dk fouk’k dj jgs gSa] ;s lc feF;k vkSj >wB gSA gekjs i=dkj Hkh gekjh iqjkuh Hkkjrh; laLd`fr esa jaxe; gSa] blfy, os ,slk fy[krs gSaA gekjs ns’k ds yksx Hkh bls eu gh eu ilan rks djrs gSa ijarq lkoZtfud rkSj ij bldh vius vius LokFkZ vkSj lqj{kk ls gekjh laLd`fr esa cps jgus ds fy, fuank djrs gSaA ijarq tks lgh gksrk gS] oks gks dj jgrk gSA vkSj vkus okys le; esa ml laLd`fr ij jkt djrks gSA /khjs /khjs dV~Vj /kkfeZdokn gekjs ns’k ls [kRe gks tk,xkA vkSj vk/kwfud fopkj/kkjk bldks vius jax esa ys ysxhA

vkus okys le; esa ,slk izrhr gksrk gS fd flQZ fe=rk dk fj’rk gh jg tk,xk vkSj ckdh lc fj’rs [kRe gks tk,axsA ij ,slk gksus esa cgqr le; yxsxk vkSj cgqr txg dzkafr] ;q) Hkh gksxkA ifjorZu izd`fr dk vfHkUu fgLlk gSA gksrk jgrk gSA vkSj og gks dj jgsxkA bls dksbZ ugha jksd ldrkA dgha ifjorZu fcuk yMkbZ ds gksrk gS vkSj dgha ifjorZu yMkbZ lsA vc gekjs ns’k ds Hkfo”; esa D;k fy[kk gS] ;g rks izd`fr tkusA ij vk’kk gS fd gekjs ns’k esa Hkh ifjorZu ‘kkafr ls gksxkA gekjk ns’k ‘kkafr esa fo’okl j[krk gSA ;gka ge ikfdLrku ls yMuk ugha pkgrs] tcfd ge mlls dgha cgqr ‘kfDr’kkyh gSa rks ge bl lkekftd ifjorZu ls dSls yMuk pkgsaxs\ 
& vatuh dqekj dLrwjh;k